Confession!

As you know I am on a bit of a road trip at the moment. Before leaving many of you asked me “What do you hope to gain by going on this trip?” It was as if everyone thought that I was expecting this incredible encounter with God. I would be sleeping one night and suddenly have this Angel appear before me and give me words of wisdom that I could then go home and share with the world and like Moses coming down from the mtn my skin would be all aglow from it’s direct encounter with God. But I would quickly point out “No! All I’m expecting is to get alone with my daddy and maybe hopefully get some guidance for “The Upside Down Group as well.” Now that I’ve been gone for close to a whole month I need to make a confession. As much as I wanted my answer to be the truth it seems that others assumptions were a bit closer to reality. If you have been following my blogs at all the last few weeks then you will know that yes I have been hearing from God. It seems that I am constantly having these little encounters yet when I go more then a day or two without actually hearing from him I grow disappointed. I call out to him and ask where he is. On more than one occasion I have asked for him to surround me and to give me a God hug (Much better than a bear hug by the way). Each time he has come through with the hug. As I’m writing and reading this it sounds pretty awesome so why have I been disappointed? Even on days I hear from him I am disappointed that I haven’t “Encountered him” after all I hear of others encounters with God is it too much to ask for the same? For peets sake I left home and friends for an extended period of time. I’ve sold most of what I have to go on this trip come on God I deserve to have “A God Encounter”. I must not be doing it right. I’m trying to be wise with my finances so you don’t have to come through quite as large for me at the end of the trip. But I have spent a few nights in a hotel some I believe wisely but others I know it was just because I really couldn’t stand the thought of spending another cold night in a tent. I have gone out to eat more often then I should but the thought of canned Tuna just wasn’t sitting to well and the meal was a cheap one. But that’s not being wise with my finances will God come through when I need him to now? I have spent a lot of time exploring the countryside around me maybe instead I should have spent more time alone in my tent reading, I shouldn’t have turned on the tv in my hotel next time I’ll see if I can get a room without a tv. NEXT TIME WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THERE CAN’T BE A NEXT TIME! Wow you look at all that and no wonder God hasn’t revealed himself like I was expecting. I’m a slacker! You haven’t even offered to serve local churches in the last couple cities you were in. SLACKER!! (Forget that I tried and couldn’t find anyone home.) I think most can read this and say “it’s a load of you know what”. That’s Satan working his magic planting doubts. I can even say it as I read this but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s there. I was speaking with a friend last night that has more or less gone on the same trip and this friend recognized almost every thought I was struggling with. We found ourselves finishing each others sentences. Here’s the thing though. We know each other and both of us knew that the others intentions were legit. I leave and head to the house I’m staying in for the night and am talking to my host about the same thing. But I find myself with him trying to explain this trip and make it still sound legit. He hadn’t questioned me. He had even made a few statements about how he wished he could do the same. Yet I still keep trying to rationalize it and I can’t say anything without (in my mind) sounding like a slacker/freeloader. It was because I couldn’t insert the word “Work” in with what I was doing. I felt guilty for enjoying this creation that God gave us. That’s when I think about Genesis and Gods creation of this universe. Check it out. God creates everything first then he creates man. He creates man in his own image, he gives man dominion over everything. It seems clear to me that God Created Earth for man not man for Earth. That means God created this Earth for me to Enjoy he created each and every detail so I would have something to explore and see and experience and enjoy. Here comes my big revelation for the day and for the moment my big revelation on this trip. Are ya ready? Ya sure? Hold on to your seat it’s big, it’s revolutionary and can change your life if you truly believe it. If you’re not ready for a total and radical life change DO NOT READ ON!!! ________GOD LOVES ME!!!!________ What? That’s your BIG revelation! I learned that in Sunday school when I was 5 years old. So did I. But there’s a difference between memorizing a lesson and repeating it for others to hear and truly understanding and embracing it. I don’t know about you but I learned that God loves me while living in a world of conditional acceptance. I truly believe that my parents love me unconditionally no ifs, ands, or buts about it but other than that. Your teachers like you as long as you play along in class, your coaches like you if you can advance the team, your bosses like you if you can advance the company, Society likes you if you prove to be a productive member of society. Once any of those things stop others begin to look at you differently. But maybe, just maybe God loves me as I am for who I am. And maybe, just maybe God has sent me on this trip so he can show me how much he loves me. Not so I will spread his light across the country by serving others (Though he’s not against it.) Not to learn giant life lessons and return home changing the world, (I don’t think he’d be against that either) He didn’t call me out here so I would go hungry, or so I can sleep out in the cold. He sent me on this trip because HE LOVES ME!!! He wants me to enjoy his creation and know that he created it for me. The more I am able to enjoy it the more I am able to enjoy him. The more I am able to enjoy him the more I can embrace the fact that he truly loves me. The more I can embrace the fact that God loves me the more I fall in love with him and the more I fall in love with him the more natural it becomes to tell the world that ______HE LOVES THEM TOO!!!_______. So it’s a selfish act on Gods part? If you call wanting your children to know you love them selfish then yes it’s a selfish act. But if anyone has the right to be selfish it’s the creator of the universe so who am I to argue.

So here’s my plan for the rest of the trip. I of course will seek to be a wise steward of what he has given me but I will not be a slave to it. I will go where I feel compelled to go (Unless God tells me otherwise) and I will ENJOY MYSELF!!! While telling others about this incredible gift God has given me and I will not feel guilty about it. In doing so I will have my “God Encounter” that I am looking for. May you have the exact same encounter. May you wake up one day and know REALLY KNOW!!! THAT THE GOD OF THIS UNIVERSE _____LOVES YOU!!!!_____