Here is one rule in life that I’m sure we’ve all heard “Never assume anything”. I remember hearing that many times over the years and usually it was after I had made a bad assumption (“I assumed you knew you were welcome”, “I just assumed you got the message”, “You haven’t been around so I assumed you…”, I just assumed you knew how much I appreciate you, Etc…,) Inevitably whenever anyone got caught making a bad assumption you knew you were going to hear someone say “Never assume anything cause we all know it makes an ASS out of U and ME.” It was a safe assumption. So why is it that we are so prone to making assumptions? I think it’s because it’s easier to assume than it is to converse. After all if I assume someone is mad at me why would I want to ask them? It will only encourage them to yell at me and create an uncomfortable situation. If someone is disappointed in me I don’t want to feel worse about my screw up by talking to them. We would rather live without the confrontation because then we don’t know for sure. Unfortunately that’s usually when the damage begins to happen because we talk as if we do know for sure. (“So and so is mad at me for such and such and I think it’s kind of petty that he/she wont talk to me about it?”, “Fine if that’s the they want it two can play that game.”, Etc…) The whole time we are thinking this way party #2 is sitting innocently in the background completely unaware that such a fury is growing. What can we do to stop this behavior, these misunderstandings? The answer is simple yet incredibly complicated. It’s something that has evaded mankind from generation to generation. Even after I spell it out here and now most of us will still miss it. We’ll laugh when we read it and say “I already knew that” but when the time comes to remember, it will be forgotten once again. The answer “Pick up the phone”, or “Knock on the door”. Find them tell them that you are beginning to wonder if something is wrong and then give them a chance to respond. When we do this the assumptions will end. Why do we always seem to forget this simple rule at the moment of truth? PRIDE! It’s that simple. Next time you are in this situation take a moment and say “Larry swallow your pride” (You can even use my name if it helps but inserting your name would be better.) then immediately, DO NOT WAIT! DO NOT STOP, SKIP JAIL, DON”T COLLECT TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS GO STRAIGHT TO YOUR FRIEND AND CLEAR THE AIR!!! Lets take the time to help others as well. If we hear a friend spewing out what seems to be a bunch of assumptions. Stop them and ask “Do you know this for sure or are you just assuming?” It will make them think. Then gently remind them to swallow their pride and pick up the phone.
You may think you just received your assignment for the week and yes if you recognized that you’re living with assumptions you did receive an assignment. But not the Upside Down Groups Assignment of the week. Actually, I didn’t mean to go there. I was setting up the assignment and that’s what happened. I saw it going there and thought “Hmmm, let it ride and trust that the Holy Spirit is leading you there.” Which does lead us beautifully into the assignment. You see nine times out of ten it’s not good to assume. But there is a time that assuming isn’t a bad thing. That’s when the outcome is positive either way. For example: Have you ever been in a coffee shop noticed someone and thought “They look like they could use a lift. I should buy their coffee for them”? In that case it is safe to assume that the Holy Spirit is leading you to buy someone a coffee. What could it hurt? If it’s the Holy Spirit he is planning something to come from that (You may not see the outcome.) If it’s not you still brightened someone’s day. What usually happens (At least with me) Is I’ll be walking down the street and hear “You should go up and talk to them.” Instead of assuming I heard from God I assume it was a random thought and decide not to. Why? Because it’s easier that way. If it’s from me I run the risk of making a fool of myself. But on the flipside if it’s from God you could be partnering with him to change the world. My advice: Swallow your pride! I’m going to make one more promise. The more you step out and are willing to assume you did hear from God the more you will learn to recognize his voice when it does come (His sheep follow him because they know his voice John 10:4). Ask yourself, “What is he asking me to do? Will it lead to good? Will it lead to harm?” if it leads to good assume it was God.
The Assignment: Listen for that still small voice of God then follow what it says. I wish I could tell you what he will be asking but he’s God and his clues are sooo much better than mine. I will say try not to limit his voice to specific areas it could vary from asking you to serve someone all the way to allow someone to serve you and many, many things in between.
OK Gang, there ya go. Have a great week and as always lets Live it Upside Down!
A few fun verses about his voice.
1 kings 19: 11 – 13
John 18: 37
Rev 3:13
Rev 3:20
What a great assignment! Listening to God has been my biggest focus recently. Throughout my spiritual journey (which, to be honest, hasn't been that long yet) I've been terrified of mistaking or missing God's voice. I found myself continually asking others how to KNOW the words, thoughts, feelings, ideas, or longings I was hearing or having were from God, and continually the answer was the same. Just keep listening and his voice will become more clear. I'll be honest, patience isn't the easiest thing for me, but it pays off. Waiting and quieting myself to hear God has led to the most joyous things in my life. I just had to listen and follow the instructions I was given. It doesn't get much simpler...yet it's so difficult at times!
ReplyDeleteFunny thing about this topic...As I opened up my email (before reading the assignment) I picked up my phone and sent a text to a friend I haven't talked to in over 3 months. Throughout the past few days he's been on my mind, and I've really felt like God was laying the issue on my heart. But like most of us broken humans, it took me a few days to swallow my pride and listen to God's words. I finally let go, reached out, and have faith that God led me to that action for a purpose. I'm not sure what that purpose may be, but I felt inner peace after sending the short message, and after reading the assignment the confirmation was astounding! It's time to let go of our pride and fix the hurts in our lives, whether we caused them, or they were laid upon us. Let God lead, because the places He guides us to our soooo much better than the places our pride takes us!
Last week I had felt a prompting (a God prompting) to contact a friend that I could definitely sense was developing a negative view of me as a person. It is amazing that you wrote about this very thing this past week and I consider it additional confirmation from God that I did the correct thing.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree that instead of ignoring these tensions or avoiding the issue, it is SO VERY important that we be willing to have the difficult conversations. The longer we wait the uglier it can get. The short term discomfort from picking up the phone and clearing the air, attempting to understand the other's point of view, endeavoring to be a peacemaker, and working towards a mutual resolution is worth it all in the long run.
So I made the phone call....
I would love to be able to report that my conversation with my friend went so well that we are completely on the same page, but unfortunately that is not the case. However, at least the issues have now been placed on the table -- in full view -- so that each of us has a decision to make: work to restore and solidify the friendship or choose to walk away. I am choosing restoration and am praying my friend does as well.
Even if our phone calls/face-to-face meetings do not turn out the way we hope, we can still gain strength and confidence in knowing that we were obedient to God's voice... that we were behaving Upside Down. And this knowledge alone will provide us with all the more courage to "have the difficult conversations" in the future. A great post, Larry.
Thank you for your comments they are very encouraging. I am glad to hear that these blogs/assignments are helping. Please keep the comments coming both positive and negative. Just keep them honest!
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